A couple of days ago, I had an experience which got me thinking.
Setting: train station. I'm wearing a pretty dress (green!), pretty peep-toe shoes (even greener!), and in general, feeling pretty.
Characters: me, and a bunch of teenage girls
Now the thing is, I know myself. I am wary of teenagers (hello childhood bullying, my, what deep marks you leave!). I regularly take a train which many teenagers take to get to school in the morning, and go home in the afternoon. Said teenagers are often very loud, make dumb remarks (hard to translate from Hungarian, but imagine stoner voices, obligatory swearing to seem "cool", making fart noises, you get the gist of it...some things are universal) and are in general, a pain in the ass.
Add to this that I have a rather strong persecution complex, and I think you can see where I'm going with this.
What happened was simply that I was standing around waiting for the train, and so were they. Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I could see one of the girls looking me up and down (my trigger is hands down that glance) and whispering something to one of her friends. Cue her friend glancing over, and pretty soon they had a conversation going which seemed to be centered on my dress and on my legs.
I was on the phone at this point, but my ears perked up and my palms started sweating. Immediately, a million assailed me - all negative.
"Are they talking about my legs - did I miss a spot when I was waxing?!"
"Are they talking about my toes - did I miss a toe when I was putting on nail polish?!"
"Are they talking about this dress - I'm sure I don't look as good in it as I thought, maybe I should have worn the other one..."
"Geez, I'm like an amazon next to them, damn petite teenagers..."
So on and so forth. Not one positive thought. And then I caught an actual sentence:
"I really like those shoes. Those are the kind of shoes I want!"
There you go. All the poor kid was doing was praising my shoes, and I heaped all my insecurities and preconceived notions on them. Instead on focusing on feeling good in myself, and approaching my looks from the view point of, well, me, I chose to put words in the mouth of a teenager.
I guess my point is just that whilst often the world can indeed be cruel, stupid, and shallow, sometimes it is we ourselves who put words into the mouths of other people, who perhaps in their heads are praising us at that very moment. It is a heartening thought, no? Sometimes we just have to let go, and dare to believe in people.